barbaric you

Sometimes, we are bound to make mistakes without realizing it. Same goes to me. Well, no body could actually escape from making one. Unfortunately, I never realize at all and when you know, your friend already start making faces. Me and my mouth. I really need to zip it hard. Cuz people around me keep on saying that I have such a barbaric meaningful phrases. They would be like ' eyy..jahatNYE kau'. But the truth is, I am just being honest. You can definitely see right through me, for people who knows me, they'd understand. And also, I just want to participate and join in conversations, but sometimes I dunno how. I am a girl with no sense of humour. Don't blame me for that. I am not mean, I just wanna blend in. But I am afraid that I just might hurt anyone's feelings, therefore, I don't usually join in crowd conversations. Like let's say, the girls are gathering+have dinner+gossiping, I wouldn't dream of joining in, cuz I seriously think that it's a waste of time to gossip, plus I'm afraid that I might say things that'd disturb their feelings. Huh! I really have to learn the nicey nice vocabs now. But that's not the prob either, cuz basically I view things from black window. I've negative thinking.. yeah, that's it. I am simply negative.. that's why my words are all barbaric and hurting peeps feelings. I hope someday I might have the will to change.