a lost gift

Not everyone can smell the nice smell of roses, even if they are gifted with perfect crooked nose. Not everyone can see the beautiful enchanting scenery, even if they are gifted with beautiful coloured iris. Not everyone can inhale the fresh air enriched with oxygen, even if they are gifted with a pair of lung.

This is what got me thinking when I visited my aunt at the hospital today for the 2nd time in HUKM. She is pretty much helpless. In terms of, needing assistance to manage herself. It must have felt really bad to ask people for their assistance and the fact that she can no longer be able to use her own ability maximumly. She seems to be very exhausted and pale. She doesn’t have the appetite that she used to have cuz her tongue feels bitter as the effect of her chemo drugs. What does it feels like to know that you are at a complicated stage of sickness and you know that the prognosis will be ‘at malam’ , not even ‘dubia’? More importantly, what I, as a niece could’ve said to make her feel any better? All I could’ve done was to hug her and kiss her on her face, hoping to see her again.

The beautiful woman who has the bed next to my aunt is a lung cancer developer. She was in so much pain. I’ve learnt all that we need to know bout lungs diseases. The pain must’ve felt like a stabbing knife or a weight puller on your chest. Hearing her hard sound to pull a breath seems hurtful each time, just imagine putting myself in her shoes of what she must‘ve really felt, real pain, it’s like you’d rather die than live. Like I said, there are plenty of air that surround her, but she can’t enjoy that like every normal people can cuz of her disease.

Just would like to say that Allah can take your happiness away from you in just a ‘kun fa ya kun’ away. He may take it physically and emotionally. Those are called ‘ujian’. Bersabar dan redhalah dengan ujianNya, sesungguhnya, Dia maha mengetahui.