no turning back, just walk ahead and have faith

There is no turning back. A carved path has already been stepped on. The past cannot be lived up anymore. What can be done if you believe that your past choice was all a mistake. A silly decision that you made in a rush, the decision you know you didn't give much thought about. Or maybe you thought that it's going to be such a wonderful and dream come true path, instead the journey seems to be a disaster and becoming worst each day.

Have you ever heard of 'falling before you fly' or 'practice makes perfect'? You may not realize of your capability in something until you've struggled for such a long period. Your examination result doesn't live up your expectations or you fall back behind when the others are far in front of you. You feel that as if you were born retarded unlike your scorer friends. You know how hard you've worked for a flying colours result but still you fail. Things happened within reason. Allah itu maha penyayang, how is it possible that the almighty will let you down? If He refuses to give it now, later in the future, you'll see. When you have started working and gain a family of your own, He might just give you even more blessing that you could ever expected. Because I learned the hard way that, Rezeki kita datang mengikut kehendak dan izin-Nya, terkadang cepat, terkadang lambat. Janganlah kita berperasangka terhadap-Nya.

What is possible right now? In my condition as a student yang 'berhutang' thousands of ringgit. If I give up now, It'll not be reasonable. Who would be very kind enough to pay MARA back after nearly a year and a half here in Jakarta? I've decided that I'll just go on studying and will not give up in looking forward flying colours result. Doctors do not have to be bright people, but hardworking and persistent. This is the path that I've choosen years ago, which some people die to be in. It is my destiny and I'll not look back.

Though I still have passion for cooking and baking. Something that I never found out before, that I am rather good in admin too. I hope someday that I'll have the chance of getting involve in big time business field. I want to open up a bakery or a catering service. Cooking makes me real happy. Happy to be around those green and red vegetables. It is what makes me happy even when I'm at supertired level. That is a definite plan of mine. My co. is my sis, that is if she'd like to. Now I can blew the sigh with relief, cuz I've already got my life planned as usual.