the perfect score

Have you ever felt so pressured in your life when you're busy being overobserved by people around you who constantly expect miracles and wonders from you. They keep on saying how proud they are to you that made you feel horrible cuz you struggle real hard to maintain in order to be the cherry everlastingly on top of the cake. But you, yourself wouldn't know for sure if you could ever do that and 'even better' for those who have started to feel the burden to get their butt to work.

This is exactly what I felt when I began my life as a matrics leaver. My result was just an average that it wouldn't be enough to put me into medical fac in my own damn country, which is what I've been dreaming about since I was a fetus. (haha.. don't laugh cuz that ain't funny).

University enrollment entrance exams and interviews, one after another came in like the waves hitting the ocean bay. Failing, one after another. However, not every turn out was dissapointing, cuz I did get excepted in both pharmacology facs of UNPAD and CUCMS. But, (as usual, there has to be 'buts') of course those wasn't as promising as medical line.

Therefore, my parents struggled hard to set me up with MORE ENTRANCE EXAMS. Do you have any idea what that felt like? I'm telling you that it felt like ****. Cuz no matter how hard you study, you know what it's going to turn out to be. Adding to that misery, I had to study over and over again for each tests and it felt as if my soul was being squeezed out of my damn body. As if I was being mentally torchered and it was even worst then the study weeks in matrics, which main objective everyday was to kick inputs to the brain nonstop, like trying to get a week of dirty clothes inside the tiny washing machine. Owh, have mercy please!

That weakens me while imagining those perfectionists with 4.0 CGPA celebrating their days of victory cuz they knew anywhich local university will stuck their tongue out reaching for them like a freaking dehydrated dog, while I was stuck burying my head inside the god damn algebra textbook thinkin that there's no way out BUT TO PASS THIS ****. Sometimes I felt like to just 'get it over with' but no... you can't dissapoint people around you right?? The one who have supported and cheered you right from the very beginning, my mom and dad. I love them so much.

But hey!!! Believe me, if you never get exactly what you want, life isn't over for you. In fact, what you get.. is like the damn best thing for you. You just didn't know it yet. Therefore, go figure babes!!!