Again and again

Honestly, I feel like to shut myself away from fb or from anything concerning you know who.
I can't keep on doing this to myself,
If I love myself, I am to stop browsing into the home page.
Even if I've removed you know who from my friend list, still I frequently see his name being tagged on wall posts or photos,
And those would eventually hurt me deeply.

I can't help myself from being jealous and concern,
I guess what I have for you know who has no meaning whatsoever to em,
It's just a waste of time to be worrying over thing like this, but like I said, I can't help it.
I'd cry, I'd feel sorry for myself... but I guess he feels nothing important at all about me.

I saw you know who being tagged in an acquaintance wall post,
A post in a form of a trip schedule,
I was hoping it was to somewhere no near bandung, yet as I checked another status of the owner's wallpost I knew it would crush my heart.
Yes, he is going to bandung, no other reason... I bet he can't wait to see her..there.
That is why he is always there, bandung games, batch trips..please,
I am not blind to see this coming.

I've always tried to calm myself down whenever I'm starting to tear,
I've always wanted myself to understand the heart-slitting fact,
I've always told myself that it's NEVER going to happen, not in a thousand years.
That he never likes me in the first place, he never did.
I tried to remind myself of how this guy has hurt me so much,
Yet, I knew the same thing will happen again and again for I will never have the strength to let my mind off him.
Only time will tell when I'll get better.

I do want him to be happy, yes... but I knew I would hurt myself instead.