Marriage before love is not my option!!

Salam to my blog reader, before i go further on this topic, i would like to apologize if what i am about to deliver will offend u.. but this is just my opinion and i wld like to share it and let it be a guide to us all.
I was borned in a family which is quite complicated. Kinda hard to explain everytime people ask me about my family. But sometimes I just have to answer honestly, eventhough it hurts sometimes. The fact that my parents got divorced ages ago do not really bother me anymore since that it’s been many years ago.. which is if i’m not mistaken, occured when i was in kindergarten school.
Now that i’ve grown up.. and become a lady, of course i have started to think of marriage (in a normal way). All of my life, I’ve known COUPLING as a normal thing. Even my parents were a couple before they got married. They went dating and all like normal people in Malaysia do. In this generation also, my cousins have started dating and coupling but don’t get me wrong.. of course it’s acknowledged by their parents. And some have end up in a happy marriage.
But now, I’ve learnt that coupling has never existed in Islam. Engagement is the time when a person get to know the other person. Girls are supposed to wait till akad nikah then can they be extra nicer to a guy. But honestly, the first time I hear bout that, I got very angry and seriously hate the fact. I mean it. Cuz damn are u crazy?? There were nothing wrong at all bout my parents. My mum, is very strong hearted woman who priorates other people then herself and my dad? My dad is very hardworking, firm and a very disciplined person. They are both good people BUT why on earth did they divorced?? Anyone who say ‘ NO BEFORE AKAD’ pliz answer me now!!
Honestly, I wouldn’t want to marry a guy without knowing his background, education, bad attitudes and wether he has an overtime psychytric problem. I want to know them and at least befriended them for a few years. And make sure that his attitudes are bearable by me. Cuz honestly ya, if say, you marry a guy without knowing him well and you find out that he has an annoying attitude which you really hate. For example, you are a punctual person and turns out that your husband is the type who never really care if he lates for work or not.. Yeah you definitely can be very patient bout it. But say, he annoys you in lots many ways, everyday, everywhere, every now and then. Believe me, I would ‘explode’ one day and ask him to let me go.
Consequently, let’s say you already have children at the moment. I’ve gone through this and I know what it feels like. You may hurt yourself for just a few years before marrying other person..but for your children, the pain will remain forever. They will always think that their family is not perfect compared to their friend’s. But for me, the pain has subsided after someone told me how lucky i am to be having 2 moms and 2 dads where as, some people do not even belong any parent at all.
But now that i know there is engagement period, the period for a pair of lover have, to get to know each other before marriage. I feel alot better.. As long as i want to be in an engagement period for a loooong time no matter what. Cuz i dun wan the same thing that i went through happens to my children too, if divorce happens. They might not be strong enough…SO PEOPLE OUT THERE, DO THINK TWICE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT KNOWING WHO YOUR BRIDES ARE..STUPID REALLY!!