i miss you ma

It's a Saturday morning today and before I start studying, I'd like talk write on what I shud've wrote like a week ago. That's about my mum. Yes, I miss my mother very much, but everytime I come home, it doesn't seem like we get cuddled with each other very much. It feels normal, like nothing, as if I live there all the time and there is nothing so much to catch up on. You know like, lovey duvey scene expected between mother and daughter.

I know that some of my friends take the chance to sleep by their mother"s side cuz they miss em. But what exactly that I did to show mum that I miss her? Like seriously?

Me and mum, we shop together. I go just about everywhere with her. We go shop at Metro Plaza, Jalan Tar, Mid Valley and Tesco, for groceries. It is for definite, something that I really enjoy to do with her. Not for the fact that she pays for everything, but the fact that she's there for me, to see me shop, to commentate on what I chosed to buy, to wait patiently while I go under the jumbo sale piles and try out in the changing room. Then we would go eat together and I get to choose what to eat also. I know it's for a fact that mum granted all my requests because I seldomly come back home, but I do know that it wouldn't be much different if I weren't.

Last time when it was bulan puasa time, she made me sit and try to anyam ketupat. So I was like huh? I refused to learn and feels like why do I have to learn to make that. I hid in my room and pretend to sleep at first and then I came out rebelliously. Mum says 'supaya nanti cucu mama tahu macam mane nak buat ketupat'. I made faces and groans alot while making that. It was horrible haha. I did it right the starting part but I couldn't finish it right haha. Mama taught me with all her patience. and I kept groaning, ya ampun hehe.

When it was few days before I went back to Jakarta, I said to mum that if I see ketupat, I am gonna be remembering that moment. It was something that I would treasure the most despite of how lame it started to be.

I love you ma, i suck at showing her how much I love and miss her but when I turn my face away, I felt like crying and hoping she knows what I feel. Each time I huged her good bye, i failed to do it right and when I'm on the plane I'd regreted it.