"nak balik ke? " "nak balik la ni, tapi hujan pulak, tak berani nak bawak kete dalam hujan lebat mcm ni"
"ooo, urmmm.... kalau aq hantar ko balik nak x?"
"and leave my car here?"
"on monday i'll pick u up too"
Rose gave a long thought, few awkward things lingered in her head, unknown why. First and foremost is why in the world is this guy talking to her in the first place? It always has to be important things if they are to converse. She didn't think that her matter or problem is any of importance to him and he could have just mobilized away without bothering about her. Yet, this girl is definitely no plain Jane, this'll be like a gold opportunity to get closer to Az. So, blushingly she said "emm..ok lah".
..............................
Then there is the awkward and painful silence again. Being sit close next to Az in his car is something beyond her expectation. She smiled widely inside as if a sun rises cheerfully in her. But then she came to a gloom world for a sudden thought about the reality. Az came to a halt to start a conversation after a few steal of glances.
"Kenapa macam sedih je?"
"Ha?... nampak macam sedih ke?, Memang pon, tengah fikir masa depan, kena buat keputusan tapi masa suntuk"
"Urm? ade orang masuk meminang ke?"
"Eh mane tau ni?"
"Lucky guess.. so ape masalahnye?"
Without knowing what really to say, she thought hard to make time to arrange the right words in her head.
"Tak tahulah nak terima ke tak, what do you think? Shud I or shud I not go for it?"
"Eh apsal pulak tanye aq, ko yang kena buat keputusan. Tapi kalau tanye aq gak, I'd say why not. Kite tak tahu future, maybe kite akan bahagia dengan orang tu".
"Really? Sure?"
Rose was really furious by what Az said, how could a guy she loves tell her to marry someone else. Doesn't he know that she is madly in love with him? Or is he being sarcastic like he always does. He didn't even seem surprise nor threaten, supposedly he never likes her after all. Then, she felt a tingling feeling, being very dissapointed with him. Then she felt like playing games with him.
"What about you?, When are you going to propose sumeone?"
"Me? hahaha, soon kot"
"Oh?"
Rose felt as if something hard just hit her face.
If what he said was for real, this means that he'll be someone else's, and that can't be good, Rose monologed to herself. She looked down for the rest of the journey and she didn't feel like to continue the conversation even when Az tried to. She had to hold herself from losing control in front of him.
....................................
THUMPPP.. she bumped on her laced roses bedsheet and pressed her square pillow hard against her face. She can't hold it anymore, she cried all night long. Hoping all she had heard was just a mere nightmare. But it was real indeed.
....................................
"Rose, macam mane ni sayang? Rose tak tengok lagi calon yang datang merisik Rose. Cube la sayang tengok, mane tau berkenan ke? Tak tengok tak tahu. I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and Az" "Ma, Rose terima je lah ma, xpayah tanye Rose lagi. Suruh je dia datang meminang bila2 je. Nak tunang terus pon xpe".
"Eh, Rose ni biar betul? Tak mau tengok gambar dulu ke? Tengok background dia ke? Dia ni doktor jugak sayang."
"Emm, x kisah la mama, ape yang baik bagi mama, baiklah bagi Rose"
It never bother her at all of how the future fiancee might look like or be like. She just seems to so lost, so can't be bothered with anything. All she knew was that she is very much rejected by Az and nothing seems to be meaningful anymore. Lots of years of waiting for an answer from a crush has now seems to be thrown in the drain. A bummer ending. There is nothing more that she could do either unless accept someone new in her life who would love her more than she does. That'd be something different apart from chasing after a crush after all these years. She finally smiled for a happy future to come.
.............TO BE CONTINUED.........
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